Marriage Communication

Good Wednesday Morning Blog Family. I pray everyone’s having a safe and blessed week so far. Keeping God in the midst of it all, you can’t go wrong. Hallelujah.

In one of my Christian Marriage Retreats, I did a teaching on communication in marriage. I am sure if you have been married for any amount of time, you know it does not work without communication and it sure doesn’t work without God. I listed below 12 of my key points from my teaching “Communication In Your Marriage.” I felt in my heart this just might help someone.

Communication In Your Marriage

1. Two words, hearing and listening, two very important words in communication. Two different words and two different definitions. Do not get the two confused. (A) Hearing is the faculty of perceiving sound, which means you hear words and sounds coming from your spouse, but not really paying attention. (B) Listening is to pay attention to someone or something to hear what is being said and (C) Communication is the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions or information by speech, writing or signs.
2. It is only when we hear with the intention of understanding that it can then be considered listening. Listening is about hearing or understanding 100% of what is being said by the other person.
3. Sometimes we hear what we want to hear instead of hearing what the other person is actually saying. Do not add or take away anything from what is being said. Pay attention and hear exactly what he or she is saying. Even if it is not important to you, it may be important to them.
4. If you are listening to hear just enough to prepare what you are going to say, you are truly not listening to what is being said. Because while your spouse is talking, you are rehearsing your little speech over and over in your head so you can make sure it is going to come out just right and with the right amount of attitude, good or bad. NOT LISTENING!
5. Express how you feel, talk about how you feel and discuss how you feel. Listen when your spouse is talking and do not interrupt. Do not yell, scream, curse how you feel or violently lay hands on one another. It does not take all of that to communicate with each other. Talk to and treat your spouse the way you want them to talk to and treat you. You will ALWAYS reap what you sow, whether good or bad.
6. If at anytime you don’t understand what your spouse is saying, let them know. Your spouse is not a mind reader and if you don’t say anything, they will walk away thinking all is good when it is not.
7. Don’t assume, don’t jump to conclusions and don’t be judgemental. Ask questions if you need to in order to have a good understanding of what is going on and what is being said.
8. Choose a time and place that is convenient for both of you so that you can sit down and talk about whatever. Give the other person your undivided attention. Do not busy yourself with anything while the other person is talking.
9. It is very important to not use your bodies as a weapon against each other when things aren’t going good. 1 Corinthians 7:5 reads, “Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
10. Always pray and ask the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you in how to communicate with your spouse if you don’t know how. That is what He is here for, He is our Helper.
11. God has a plan for your marriage, He created marriage and He knows how it is to be done. You can have heaven right here on earth, starting with your marriage. There should always be three involved in your marriage, you, your spouse and God. Keep Him in the middle of your marriage.
12. Ecclesiastes 4:12 reads, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back to back and conquer, three are even better, for a triple braided cord is not easily broken.” You + God + Your Spouse = Triple Braided Cord, which is not easily broken.

I pray this will help someone’s marriage that may be in trouble because of lack of communication or make someone’s marriage even stronger. Remember to always keep God in your marriage, He knows how it is to be done. His way which is the right way. God Bless 🙂